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自分の王国にいて。

 昨日、SNOOZERの連載対談をex-Peal Out、現Byondsのヨシロウとやってきた。くわしくは原稿におこすのだけど、彼も11年やり続けていたバンドを離れたという部分で色々と感慨深いところがあるだろう。

 解散せざるを得なかった一番の理由として、「メンバーと同じ世界を共有する事ができなかった」(大訳)と言っていたのだけど、なるほどなぁと考えさせられた。何故って、どうしてズボンズが長く続いているのかというと、みんながボクの王国の中に「必ず」存在しているからである。誰もが自分の王国に住んでいるのは当然の話だが、ボクの場合にはその世界が成り立つために今いるメンバーが「そこに存在している必要」がある。だからボクはボクでありながら、他のメンバーもボクの「たましい」の一部なのだ、と感じる。(ちょっと言うのは難しい話なんだけど)当然、ボクは「自分の世界」を壊したくないので、自然みんなとしょっちゅうコンタクをとり続ける事になる。それは実際煩わしくもあるのだけれど、結局はやりたくてやっているに過ぎないのだ。

 ようするにボクの世界は自分一人では完成しないし、そうする事を望んでもいないのだ。それは傍から見ると子供の遊び仲間の関係でしかないのだけど(決して「大人の関係」とは言い難いでしょう?)、ボクにとって最高のクリエイションはその「場」の中で生まれる事をボクは知っている。

 とはいえ、それは「ボクの王国」での話であって、Mattaの国や、Moo国、Pocky国で何が起こっているのか知る由もない。もしかするとボクはみんなの国には存在していないかもしれないし、必要ともされてないかもしれない。聞くのが怖いような気もする。実はボク以外のメンバーはみんな大人で「やれやれ、ドン・マツオは子供だから相手をしてやるか。」としょうがなく付き合ってくれているのかもしれない。他人はまったく理解できないものである。いずれにしてもボクは得難いメンバーがいる事は間違いがなさそうですね。ハハハ。(これじゃまるでバカな王様である。)

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